english / persuasive-soi.mdon commit [english] finish most planning for oral (fa43669)
   1---
   2bibliography: persuasive-bib.bib
   3nocite: '@*'
   4title: My Health Record
   5author:
   6- Andrew Lorimer
   7documentclass: article
   8...
   9
  10## Statement of intention
  11
  12My opinion essay is written in a style intended for a newspaper or website. I took the approach of a casual but informative discussion around My Health Record (MHR), and I was careful to thoroughly cover the background of the issue in order to lead readers to a logically sound conclusion.
  13
  14The concept of electronic health records has existed in theory for decades, however only now is it starting to be feasible in practice. I find this an interesting issue since it involves an ethical debate as well as more practical problems with implementation. In my piece, I try to convey this passion and genuine interest in the issue without appearing emotionally swayed.
  15
  16Specifically, the My Health Record was first posed as a possible solution to the perceived problems with the traditional decentralised system in 2010. It was then announced in 2012 as a trial program through some parts of Australia. I cited this ongoing trial a number of times in my piece, as such a long term and significant study adds to the plausibility of my arguments.
  17
  18Despite having a complicated stance on the issue, I tried to state my contention clearly and strongly - namely, that if Australians are to get any benefit from the My Health Record, they must embrace it and accept its initial flaws. This statement might be confusing to some readers, since I am not taking a definite stance on one side or the other. Despite this, my clear explanation and explicit wording enable me to discuss the issue and convince readers to think deeply, gently leading them to my conclusion.
  19
  20The tone of my article is generally civil and respectful of both sides. This is necessary since my contention has potential to create angst among both sides of the polarised debate. I intentionally switch between a neutral, informative tone and a stronger conclusive tone. In the first, I convey facts and statistics, subtly encouraging readers to think critically. This allows me to set up a solid basis for my broader conclusions which are further supported by emotive and inclusive language. The distinction between these two tones provides variety and interest in the piece, as well as striking a balance between critical, logically-minded readers, and more emotionally-swayed readers.
  21
  22The language in my piece is intentionally simple and clear. I spent a significant time explaining the background of the issue, ensuring that readers enter the debate afresh and without preconceptions. However, this strategy makes it easy to appear uneducated and blatant, so I included subtle phrases of more educated and obscure language to attract a broader audience.
  23
  24The arguments in my essay are clearly laid out so that readers can immediately separate pieces of evidence and link them together. This is more efficient than a contiual flow of information because readers may become bored or overwhelmed with a single cohesive piece. However, the conclusion of each paragraph clearly states how it relates to my contention and the discrete arguments are all related in that they form a sequential progression towards my conclusion.
  25
  26## Evidence
  27
  28- Blue Mountains trial (executive report, 2012)
  29- 15% -> 70% uptake with training
  30- cost is unclear
  31- "moving in the right direction" according to public
  32- federal government
  33- digital copy of records
  34- stored 30 years after death
  35- not clinically reliable
  36- existed since July 2012 (many technical failures)
  37- "purpose of records does not change"
  38- "helps pharmacists and non-treating health professionals"
  39- 6 million consumers registered (54% F, 46% M)
  40- 14 thousand healthcare providers registered
  41- 8 million documents uploaded
  42- 24 million prescriptions uploaded
  43
  44
  45
  46
  47
  48## Bibliography